What the Groomers Want

18 May

The vile person shall be no more called liberal, nor the churl said to be bountiful. – Isaiah 32:5

For some time now, I have been trying to figure out what Leftists and Democrats want. This group, henceforth known collectively as the Groomers, has behaved in such an enigmatic manner that their real motivation has mostly eluded me. Alas, I may have stumbled upon their actual intention.

To be fair, it was not I who made this discovery. It was in a phone conversation with a friend/colleague that she first stumbled onto this idea. Without citing her by name, I cannot give her more credit.

We were discussing how the Groomers have been accusing conservatives of trying to initiate an insurrection and how Joe Biden just recently linked the entire MAGA movement to the lone-wolf attack in Buffalo. He did this with a single sentence by mentioning them together as if they were a single entity but without actually clarifying the connection. I explained to my friend/colleague that I think the Groomers will probably steal the election in November. My reasoning was that they are behaving like people who cannot lose and, more importantly, cannot afford to lose. Somewhere along the way, I mentioned that they always accuse the other side of the exact thing they are actually doing.

Then, my friend/colleague had an epiphany. Maybe, for the Groomers, losing the elections is actually winning. Allow me to explain.

Socialists like Bernie Sanders and his fandom, AOC and the Squad, do not want to take meager control of an extant republic…not one with a firm base in capitalism and deep constitutional institutions already in place. They want a revolution. They envision themselves in streets waving red flags and ultimately storming government buildings to declare an end to the old order.

The problem is that one cannot commence such a program of complete renewal when one is already perceived to be in power. The revolutionary zeal only works if one is perceived to be the underdog. For the Groomers, this means they must lose elections in November.

The Groomers are hoping to lose bitterly in November so that their followers will be frightened and angry enough to hit the streets and begin demanding real change. With Roe v Wade overturned and the myth of white supremacy in full force, they will be able to gin up their base. They will finally get to do the thing they have always wanted to do: overturn the US government and replace it with a communist utopia. They will do this during the two months between when they lose the elections in November and when they are actually deprived of power in January. Thus, they will still have control of the police and military while being perceived as the oppressed.

The burning and looting we witnessed in the aftermath of George Floyd’s death were nothing compared to what is coming. The “autonomous zones” set up in Seattle and Portland were just test runs. When the Groomers rise up, this time as an angry injured dragon, they will do so in full force. They will set up really large autonomous zones and patrol them with zeal. They will claim that white supremacists have taken over the Capital in DC and take it back by force. They will call what Trump supporters supposedly did in January 6, 2021 the initial strike and call what they are doing a counter strike. The whole thing will seem completely irrational, but they won’t care. Revolutions, after all, are emotional affairs and no one bothers to analyze the underlying logic. They just carry colorful flags, scream a lot and break things.

The Republicans will win elections in November 2022. It will be the “extinction level event” described by Monica Crowley. But that will not mark the end of Groomer power. It will mark the beginning of the real Groomer revolution.

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